The Rise Of Fox
by r0b0t1
Summary: Fox goes on an insane killing spree... This story is cowritten by Kobalt.


Note: This story was co-written by Kobalt.

Disclaimer: I don▓t own Super Smash Bros. But, who really cares?

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"Mush! Go! RUN BOWSER!" 

"GRR."

"RUN! Take me to the market, noble steed!"

"RAWR."

"NOW!"

"RAWR GRR."

"Oh, forget it. Where's my Arwing? I want to shoot hot plasma rays of death at you."

"Fox, you're not supposed to shoot people with plasma blasts anymore..." Sheik said, using super-ninja skills to come up behind them unnoticed.

"GODAMMIT!"

The Rise of Fox

"But I WANNA shoot hot plasma rays of death at people!"

"No!" Link said, who was now riding on Bowsers back as they were heading towards the mansion.

"Come on ..."

"No!"

"You don't actually expect me to listen do you?" Fox asked.

"Actually, yes we do." Sheik replied.

"Dammit."

They had now reached the Smash Mansion. Fox walked in the door and saw Falco shooting hot plasma rays of death at Pichu who was huddled in a little ball on the floor.

"Falco! Let me try!" Fox ordered.

"No, go away you faggot." he replied.

"Why do ya always gotta be so mean?" Fox said. He was now using terrible grammar.

"Goddammit, Fox. Leave me alone!"

"You're a bird. I CAN EAT YOU."

"Nuh-uh!"

"YOU WANNA GO?"

"Shaddup! I need my beauty sleep!" Captain Falcon called from his bedroom. Falco snickered.

"I'm going to bed!" Fox pouted. Slamming the door to his room, he pulled back a curtain to reveal his Arwing. "It's ok, baby...I'm here now..." he whispered, rubbing its wings. However, his hand accidentaly came upon the manual override switch for the lasers, firing 4 bursts into Falcon's room.

"JESUS! Can't I sleep for FIVE MINUTES without being shot?" Falcon cried.

"Uh..no?" Fox improvised.

"Well hmph!"

"Sorry you had to see that, Archie..." Archie was the name Fox had given to his Arwing, because he felt so alone. He continued hugging his fightership. Suddenly, the door burst open as Falco walked in on Fox, who was licking the Arwing's windshield.

"FOX! What is WRONG with you?"

"Falco! Can't you knock?"

"I'm a bird. I have wings, not fingers, genius."

"You have a beak."

"I'm not a woodpecker!"

"Well you could've said something before you came in!"

"That's not my style, Fox."

"Well...just leave me alone."

"Okay, whatever you say..."

-MEANWHILE-

"What's going on up there, Falco?" Mario asked as the avian came down the stairs, his wings crossed.

"Fox is getting frisky with his Arwing." Falco replied, and walked to the kitchen without a second thought. Awkward silence ensued.

"I-" Luigi started, only to be interrupted by Mario.

"Don't even ask. Fox is special that way."

Fox eventually came down the stairs after about 10 passionate minutes with him and his ship. Fox noticed everyone was trying to hold back from laughter.

"What?" he asked. "What's going on?"

"How's 'Archie,' Fox?" Link said.

Fox looked embarrassed. He decided to just walk to the next room. He walked into the kitchen where Falco was calmly eating a baked potato.

"Oh God. That's a good baked potato." he said, licking his beak.

Fox could tell Falco was trying to get on his nerves, because Fox absoloutely loves baked potatoes. He thought he might make one for himself, so he looked in the cupboard.

"Ah, no. This is the last one." Falco said from behind him.

Fox reached for his utility belt and pulled out his laser gun. He quickly turned around and pointed it at Falco's head. Falco started laughing.

"Shut up!" Fox yelled. "I already know you don't have your gun with you, so don't try to fool me!"

"Come on man. You wouldn't KILL me. I'm your best bud. Think back and remember all the good times we've shared."

Fox tried to look back, but his mind was blank from those things. Maybe it was because he didn't have any good memories with Falco, or maybe it was because he was insane and he was so excited for his first kill.

"Yeeeeeah...good times."

"See? It's all coming back to you, now..."

"NOT!" Fox yelled, firing a burst at Falco. The laser went clean through Falco's head. Falco just sat there normally for a few seconds and then fell on to the table. Blood was leaking out of his ears.

"Good thing that's over with." Fox said to himself.

He heard footsteps coming towards the kitchen door. He quickly jumped out of the window and landed on a soft patch of grass. He heard a loud, high pitch scream come from the mansion.

▒Hah! I frightened Captain Falcon▓. Fox thought. ⌠Now, I just have to climb up to my room, get Archie, and fly away! FULL-PROOF!■ ⌠Wait a minute...why should I climb? GGRRRRRIAAAAAA!■ Fox cried, bursting into flame and flying into the air.

⌠AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!■ Falcon screamed from the kitchen. Zelda came running, curious as to what happened.

⌠What happened?■

⌠Somebody ate the last baked potato!■

⌠There it is, in that bloody mass of blue feathers.■

⌠YAY!■ Falcon screeched.

⌠Link! Come take out the trash!■ Zelda called. Link ran in, and, somehow, picked up Falco▓s remains and carried them out the door and to the end of the driveway.

⌠Why do we even need such a big driveway?■ Link said, turning around, and seeing the Batmobile parked there. ⌠Right.■

(If you haven▓t read my story, ⌠Link And Ganon▓s Journey To Save The World,■ you might not get why they have the Batmobile.)

⌠Hey!■ Link turned around and saw Fox who was aiming his laser right in between Link▓s eyes.

⌠Hey ... What the fuck?!■ Link screamed right before the laser went straight through his head.

Fox ran up to Link and stole his two foot ladder. Luckily his window wasn▓t too far from the ground. He reached his window, climbed through, and hopped in his Arwing. ⌠ENGAGE!■ he cried, firing up the ship▓s systems. He fired up the engines, burning a massive hole in the wall, and lifted off. 


End file.
